Woody Guthrie

I was driving down the road, having one of my usual conversations with my three year old, when this great old Woody Guthrie song came on:

As far as I can tell, this song is all about three year olds.  And, as I'm sure you can imagine, these old lyrics inspired a barrage of new questions!

2 Gallons and a Half Pint

Me: I've gotta' stop in this gas station and put five bucks in the tank.

Julio: What tank?

Me: The gas tank.

Julio: Why do you have to put five bucks in the tank?

Me: 'Cause we're almost out of gas and I want to make it home for naps.

Julio: And if you don't put in five bucks then we won't make it to home?

Me: Probably not.

Julio: But why do you have to put money in there?

Me: Oh, I see. I'm not really putting the money into the tank. I'm going to use the money to buy gas and put the gas in the tank.

Julio: Are you going to use five dollars?

Me: Probably ten. Actually, I'm going to use my debit card.

Julio: Oh. (pause) Does Deb have a debit card?

Me: I don't know.  Probably.

Julio: DOES she?

Me: Yes.

Packing

We have been using this system for packing ever since we installed our chalkboard:

I used to draw little pictures next to the words so that Ruben could pack without assistance, but this was the first time that Ruben read the words and drew the pictures for Julio.

After some helpful suggestions from Ruben, Julio was very proud of writing his first "X."

My friend, Melissa, suggested using these very lightweight reusable grocery bags for packing.  They are perfect for our weekend trips.  I hang them on the doorknobs in the hall, right next to the packing list, and the boys run back and forth to their dressers, collecting items from the list and filling their bags.  As soon as they are done, I check their work, tie the bags shut and throw them all in a big duffel bag.  This bag system makes it so simple for the boys to keep track of their own clothes once we reach our destination.

Packing for everybody used to be a dreaded chore for me, but now the boys get excited when they see me working on their list and they treat packing more like a game.  It doesn't exactly save time yet, but I can see that they will be very good at packing for themselves before long, and I look forward to the day when they will be able to take charge of the whole process.

Do you have any favorite packing tips?  I'm so curious about what other families do to get ready for a trip.

Collecting

Are you a collector?  When I was a kid, my three brothers avidly collected: comic books, bottle caps, license plates and banana stickers. 

Look at what I found in the "secret compartment" of Diego's special pencil box:

I've always seen myself as more of an accumulator than a collector, but now I think I'll start collecting these:

So, what did you collect when you were seven and a half?

Locks and Keys and Canada

Many years ago, I gave a presentation about a children's book to a class of second graders in northern California.  At the end of my talk, I asked the kids, "Do you have any questions?"  Half a dozen eager hands shot up, and the girl that I called on breathlessly asked, "Have you ever been to CANADA?"

I had asked a bunch of seven-year-olds if they had any questions.  Of course, they had questions!  As clever as those kids were, they hardly knew anything.  It didn't matter that Canada had absolutely nothing to do with my book and that I had only spent two hours once upon a time in the airport in Calgary, they were amazed.  We talked about Canada for twenty minutes!

I'm telling you this story because sometimes I need to remind myself that the most mundane things are often completely new to kids.  If your house is like ours, you probably even have lots of boring things in your closet or garage that would be fascinating and special to kids.

These locks were perfect for Ruben.  How on earth did we have so many kinds of locks in our hall closet?  There was a combination, a u-lock, padlocks in many sizes, and an old deadbolt with two cylinders.

 
I will look around for more accidental collections like this in our house.  Maybe we'll clean out the tool box or take apart some obsolete gadgets.  I'd love to give them an old typewriter or sewing machine to dismantle.

What else can you think of that is probably lying around the house and might be fun to examine?

Playing with Magnets

My kids almost never say, "I'm bored."  I think the reason may be that if they do, I always look at them like they just said the coolest thing ever and tell them, "Great!  That probably means you're about to have a good idea.  People often think of interesting things to do when they are bored!"

This doesn't mean that my kids don't get bored.  Sometimes I see it coming, and then I try to quickly bring out something new for them to explore.

Lately, the magnets on our refrigerator have been seeing a lot of action, so yesterday I put out some trays on the dining table with as many magnets as I could round up.  We had lots.  I put out several kinds of metal objects like cans and containers, cookie cutters, and whatever I could grab in a few minutes.  I even brought out a box of pins (but only left them out when I was standing by).

They were occupied with these for over an hour, testing them, building things, trying to make them stick to different things, and gathering more magnets from their toy collection.  Before long, they came up with some fun games to play using little rubber guys that had magnets in their hands and feet, controlling them with other strong magnets under the tray.

Sometimes they called it "Little Guy Dance Party" and sometimes, "Little Guy Fight!"

Speaking of little guys fighting, did you see that scratch on Diego's cheek?  Little guys fighting seems like one of the "interesting things to do" that my boys come up with when they are bored.  That is why I scurry around trying to conjure up something else for them to do if I happen to see it coming!

I do it MYSELF.

This particular toddler phase is a lot easier for me the third time around.  I'm a little better at knowing when to help and when to wait, and a lot better at budgeting some extra minutes for getting dressed.  Pretty soon he will be able to do it all by himself, right?  Didn't we all suffer this pain when we were two, this wanting to take care of ourselves without needing help?  Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I still make these same faces when I look at our laundry pile.

Belly, Baby, Boy.

I just had to update this post from one year ago.

June 2009:

June 2010:

June 2011:

Travels with Julio

Traveling solo with a toddler definitely requires careful planning and many compromises.

I packed all sorts of things to keep Julio entertained and well-fed, but I was afraid that the long flight would be too much for both of us.

Instead, there were no disasters.

Of course, it was cramped and uncomfortable and the flight was soooo looong, but Julio was a brilliant little traveler.  Both ways.  Our neighbors on the planes even thanked and complimented us, as Julio was in a pleasant mood or sleeping the whole time.  People around us laughed when somewhere over the Atlantic he loudly exclaimed, "A CUCUMBER for ME? Oh, THANK YOU, Mama! THANK YOU!"  I know that I got off easy, so please don't hate me if you are the people whose toddler screamed for 10 hours straight the last time you flew to China.  Or if you were sitting next to them.

It will probably be a while before Julio and I go on a long trip together again, so we will have some time to enjoy these sweet memories of our first perfect flight together.

Sometimes What You Need is What Happens

I needed to sit in the sun and have a quiet cup of tea all by myself.

It happened.

Some Great Little Books

I've spent a lot of time reading, thinking about and making books for children.  My love and enjoyment of picture books has expanded in the past six years, as I've had the pleasure of field-testing some old and new favorites with my three little book-lovers.  I put a lot of thought into choosing books for this list, with the aim of selecting those that could be enjoyed by boys and girls (and their adults) with a broad range of interests and backgrounds.  Now, go read someone a story!

THE PICTURE BOOKS THAT MAIZ WISHES THAT ALL CHILDREN EVERYWHERE COULD HAVE IN THEIR LIBRARIES:

Madeline by Ludwig Bemelmans
The Story About Ping by Marjorie Flack & Kurt Wiese
Ferdinand by Munro Leaf / Robert Lawson, illus.
The Frog and Toad books by Arnold Lobel
Blueberries For Sal by Robert McCloskey
Make Way For Ducklings by Robert McCloskey
Winnie the Pooh by A.A. Milne / Ernest Shepard, illus.
When We Were Very Young by A.A. Milne / Ernest Shepard, illus.
The Little Bear books by Else Holmelund Minarik / Maurice Sendak, illus.
Beatrix Potter books, especially: The Tale of Peter Rabbit, The Tale of Two Bad Mice, The Tale of Jeremy Fisher, The Tale of Jemima Puddle-Duck and The Tale of Squirrel Nutkin
The Complete Adventures of Curious George by Margaret & H.A. Rey
Richard Scarry's Cars and Trucks and Things That Go
Richard Scarry's Best Storybook Ever
Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish by Dr. Seuss
The Sneeches and Other Tales by Dr. Seuss
Sylvester and the Magic Pebble by William Steig
Harry the Dirty Dog by Gene Zion / Margaret Bloy Graham, illus.

Okay, so those are what I consider to be the CLASSICS.  My taste in kids' books may seem a little old fashioned, but those are all beautifully written and illustrated.  They have a wide appeal, and introduce readers to a great variety of words, ideas and lifestyles.  Here are some more that I am also crazy about:

MORE BOOKS THAT MAIZ IS CRAZY ABOUT:

In the Town All Year 'Round by Rotraut Susanne Berner
Up, Up, Up! It's Apple-Picking Time by Jody Fickes Shapiro / Kitty Harvill, illus.
Traction Man is Here! by Mini Grey
Kitten's First Full Moon by Kevin Henkes
The Seven Silly Eaters by Mary Ann Hoberman / Marla Frazee, illus.
Martha Speaks by Susan Meddaugh
The Day the Babies Crawled Away by Peggy Rathmann
Wild About Books by Judy Sierra / Marc Brown, illus.
Doctor De Soto by William Steig
Shrek! by William Steig
Joseph Had a Little Overcoat by Simms Taback
Owl Moon by Jane Yolen / John Schoenherr illus.

What, there are more?!  And...

SOME OTHER GREAT BOOKS FOR TODDLERS and BOOK BEGINNERS:

Hug by Jez Alborough
Ten, Nine, Eight by Molly Bang
Little Fur Family by Margaret Wise Brown / Garth Williams, illus.
Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown / Clement Hurd, illus.
The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle
Go, Dog, Go! by P.D. Eastman 
The Everything Book by Denise Fleming
Barnyard Banter by Denise Fleming
Hand, Hand, Fingers, Thumb by Al Perkins / Eric Gurney, illus.
Goodnight, Gorilla by Peggy Rathmann
The Nutshell Library by Maurice Sendak
"More, More, More" Said the Baby by Vera B. Williams

Some notes on finding more: Many of these authors have more great books out there, especially Steig, Sendak, Taback, Henkes, Rathmann, Potter, Scarry and Seuss.  Look for the originals, as there are many not-so-good derivations of some of these classics, especially of Curious George, Winnie-the-Pooh and Richard Scarry.  

There are lots of places to find these books.  If you can shop at an independent children's bookstore, lucky you!  (There is a great one in LA called Children's Book World.)  I hope you can also find them all for free at your local library.

Detail of illustration by Ernest H. Shepard from Winnie-the-Pooh by A.A. Milne, 2006 Dutton Children's Books ed.

Cowboy Parenting

For the past couple of years, I've been inching my way through the long and consistently wonderful list of Newbery medal winners.  I'm midway through Will James' Smoky, the Cowhorse, winner of the 1927 medal, and I just came across this gem that brought to my mind some of the concepts behind compassionate parenting:

Will James was a French Canadian turned Wild West cattle rustler, who wrote and illustrated many books on horses and cowboys.  His characters of both Smoky and Clint, the cowboy who becomes Smoky's "pardner" are beautifully described.  James' deep compassion for horses and his entertaining use of cowboy dialect are making this book a real pleasure to read.

And, since I just can't bring myself to write a post without a picture, here's an old one of Ruben waiting for his grub from the chuckwagon:

Family Traditions

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about traditions.  Not the "let's stop at the same taco stand every time we go to the Merry-go-round" type of family tradition, but the real generation-to-generation passing on of customs and rituals.

I know that there are people out there who have family traditions that go back countless generations.  This is not the case for me.  In the past three generations, life for our family has changed so greatly that now we find ourselves raising children in a completely different environment with different nationalities, opportunities, occupations, religions and pastimes than our grandparents.  Even the weather is different.  Our grandparents are all gone, and many of the family traditions of their childhoods have been forgotten.

What is the value of these traditions anyway?  I'm not being rhetorical!  Do they tie us to the foggy past, giving us a sense of the smallness of our place in time?  Do they connect us with our ancestors in a deeply meaningful way?  It is easy to romanticize them, but are there really some great forgotten traditions, or has it been like this for our families throughout history, each generation wondering about and trying to interpret some almost-forgotten rituals of the past?

Because I either don't know about or don't feel very connected to many of the traditions of our families' past, I find myself, in a position to pick and choose or invent the customs of my own home.  It will be up to the next generation to determine if these customs become true family traditions.

Quiet Time

Or, maybe not...

Date Night

Toys stay on the floor and dishes in the sink...  Tonight is date night.  At least, I think it is.  Joe's not back from tucking in Diego, so that might be a sign that he's accidentally resting up for date night.  I should know.  I just woke up from putting Julio to bed.

"What does this dynamic couple do for date night?" I know you're wondering.  No, there is no babysitter or idling taxi waiting for me to put the finishing touches on my up-do.  These days, date night is more of a sweatpants and herbal tea type of affair.  There is usually a laptop and a DVD involved.  Sometimes we watch the whole thing (not in one installment) or enjoy a (huge) bowl of ice cream.

When Diego was a baby, we used to read or play scrabble or cribbage, make some music together or (once) do some stretching and a light workout.  For that matter, before the kids came along, we even used to go out.  Those luxuries are on hold these busy days, but you know what?  I really don't mind.  I love watching a movie (falling asleep) next to Joe on the couch.  I know our days of out-on-the-town will be back before long, but right now I can't even imagine staying out late.  I think I'd rather have a babysitter come at 5:30 in the morning so Joe and I could get an extra hour of sleep.  Speaking of which, I'd better go wake him up for date night!

A Sense of Direction

I can't stop thinking about a fascinating article called "Does Your Language Shape How You Think?" that I read in the New York Times about a month ago.  Did you see it?  In case you're not up to reading a whole article about linguistics and cultural relativity, here's a brief description of the part that thoroughly amazed me:

English speakers use two primary ways to give directions and describe spacial relations, egocentric (left, right, in front, behind) and geographic (North, South, East, West, etc.).  We rely mostly on egocentric directions, but there are other languages scattered across the globe that rely entirely on geographic directions!  People in those cultures say things like, "Could you scoot over a little to the southwest, so I can sit there?" and "Look at that interesting rock just northeast of your southern foot."  While we may experience two different spaces as identical (the article describes matching hotel rooms across the hall from each other), people who use the geographic system will see the rooms as completely different from each other (the bed on the north end of one room and the south end of the other).  Do they have a less egocentric view of life?  The article describes that they even point at their chests to mean "in the direction behind me," as though they are pointing through themselves.

People in those cultures have an incredibly accurate internal compass that they rely on constantly to understand their surroundings.  They start using geographic directions at around age 2 and have the system down by the age of 7 or 8.  Even in total darkness or when they are very dizzy, they still can reliably identify the cardinal directions.  They don't need to stop and check the sun, or see what side of a tree the moss is growing on, they just know.

Do you know which way is north?  I always felt like I had a good sense of the cardinal directions.  I grew up in Southern California where the sun was usually shining, and there were mountains and other easy-to-see orienting landmarks.  When I moved to Connecticut for college, I became disoriented easily.  There were so many trees that I couldn't see a great distance, and the small swatches of visible sky were often hazy.  (There may be some other reasons why I became directionless in college, but that's a different story...)  Even my friends who grew up there could not tell me which way was north, and it didn't seem to bother them.

I am intrigued by how children in those geographic cultures learn the directions.  Is it like learning a language?  Does the window of opportunity for developing an internal compass close?  If I tell my baby, "Look at that bird in the east!" will he start developing an innate ability to orient himself in space?

Open, Sesame!

A few months ago, I was watching a friend of Ruben's for a couple of hours.  Julio was sleeping and Diego was out, so I just had the two three-year-olds at snack time.  They looked up at me with hungry, expectant faces.

I sat them down on the kitchen floor and handed them each a small, silver prep bowl.  "You must be very hungry," I said, "here's your snack.  If you eat it all, I'll get you some more."  I put one raisin in each bowl.  They looked at each other and giggled.  One second later, "We want some more!"

I gave them each a single sunflower seed and said, "Sunflower seed.  If you eat it all, I'll get you some more."  More giggles, and then "MORE!"  An almond, a cashew, an oat, a peanut and a pecan later, we were all giggling and having a great time.  I was searching the kitchen for new things for them to taste, and they were happily trying everything.  Dried cranberry, blueberry and mango.  Candied ginger.  From the spice cabinet, they each tried a single seed of caraway, sesame (black, white, and toasted,) and cumin.  They were amazed by the big flavors of the tiny seeds.

They had a clove, a tiny piece of cinnamon and a grain of coarse sea salt.  I went through the fridge, giving them one tiny thing at a time: single slices of carrot, cucumber, banana and red pepper and small leaves of spinach, arugula and romaine.  The freezer gave us frozen blueberries, strawberries and peas.

I named each food as I put it in their bowls, and as they ate, they enthusiastically pronounced their verdicts: good, bad, spicy, sweet, salty, yummy, yucky, and above all, "MORE!"

Harder is Easier

One of the greatest lessons I've learned as a parent is that doing things the hard way often makes life easier in the long run.

I thought of this as I was letting Julio help me load the dryer.

This was severely hampering my progress on the excavation of Laundry Mountain.  But, as tedious as it can be, toddler work leads to real work.  I'm convinced that the more I let him enjoy it now, the more he'll want to do it later.

Besides, I told Diego to leave his lunch plate on the table yesterday because the dishwasher was clean.  When I came back from getting his little brothers dressed, he had emptied the dishwasher and loaded it with all of the dirty dishes.

I'm not sure who was prouder, him or me.